This guide will provide you with all the information you need to plan a funeral that honours your loved one's memory and traditions. Remember that every funeral is different and there isn’t a one size fits all approach to planning one. What is important is that you consider the wishes of the deceased and also think about how those left behind would want to honour their memory.
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO PLAN A FUNERAL?
Some people plan their funerals in advance, so all you need to do is notify the funeral home that the person has passed away, and then the process of putting everything in place is triggered for you. Often, the only thing you will need to arrange is the date of the funeral.
In other cases, you will be planning the funeral from scratch. A funeral can be very quick to organise if you want to keep things simple. The only delay to planning will usually be demand for the funeral home and availability at the cemetery or crematorium.
You should also consider the religious wishes of the person who has passed away. There may be rules about how quickly they should be buried, or when they can be buried. For example, most religions don’t allow individuals to be buried on important holidays.
And finally, you may need to coordinate with individuals to make sure everyone can attend the funeral. This could extend the amount of time it takes to plan a funeral simply because you need to make sure people can travel to attend. It could take a while for everyone to be able to confirm their travel plans.
In general, most funerals take place between one and two weeks after death. This doesn’t give you very much time to bring all of the components together, which is why it’s important to be organised.
Creating a checklist of everything that needs to happen will help to ensure that you don’t miss anything. It’s also a good idea to delegate tasks to individuals that you trust. This can help to relieve the pressure on you to make sure that everything is done.
WHAT ARE THE MAIN COMPONENTS OF A FUNERAL?
The components of every funeral will be different, but there are some common themes that are present in most memorial arrangements. Running through this list and deciding which ones are relevant to you is a great place to start as it will help you to formulate your own checklist.
THE LOCATION
Where will the main funeral take place? This would typically be a religious building, a crematorium, or in a funeral home. Unless you own the property you’ll be hosting the funeral in, chances are it will need to be booked in advance. There may also be rules about what is and isn’t allowed during the funeral that you will need to observe. Religious buildings will also have rules about who can hold their funeral there based on their faith.
The time after big holidays will typically be the busiest for all of these locations, as there will be a backlog of funerals to get through. If you can be flexible on the time or day of the week, there is a better chance of being able to book your funeral quickly.
THE FUNERAL TYPE
Will the individual be buried or cremated? You may already know the individual’s wishes, or you may need to make this decision with your loved ones. If they will be buried, you will need to find a plot if you don’t already have one reserved. If they will be cremated, you need to arrange when this will happen with the crematorium.
Both types of funerals will require a casket, so this is another thing you need to consider. Your funeral home should be able to advise on the right casket for your needs and budget. The funeral home will then store and prepare the body. If you are planning an open-casket viewing, this will need to take place soon after the death. The longer you leave it, the less likely you will be able to have an open-casket viewing.
THE FLOWERS
Many funerals have a large central wreath for the coffin. You might also decorate the graveside or crematorium with flowers that other people have contributed. You will need to contact a florist as soon as possible to arrange for the flowers to be delivered to the funeral home.
Florists can be very busy in the summer months when they will also be arranging flowers for weddings. You may need to call around a few florists before you can find one that can accommodate your needs. You’ll also need to think about what will happen to the flowers after the funeral. While some sites will allow you to leave the flowers, others will ask you to take them away with you.
THE INVITES
You need to establish a way to let people know the funeral is happening. Invites is the wrong word, but someone needs to be responsible for letting people know the date and time. You may also want to publish a notice in the newspaper or online to make people aware of when the funeral is taking place.
You need to think about all aspects of your loved one’s life so that you don’t miss anyone out. Getting help from different people and allowing people to spread the word themselves will help to make sure that everyone who needs to know about the funeral is aware it is taking place.
THE SERVICE
The service will be different for every funeral, but someone needs to take responsibility for planning it. The person leading the memorial service or funeral is likely to have templates you can follow and personalise.
If you are working with a religious leader, they will provide guidance on the structure and format of the funeral. If you are planning your own service, you can find templates and examples online to help guide you. You don’t have to copy and paste, but it’s helpful to have a format to follow.
Once you have decided on the order of service, you’ll then need to think about printing this for the attendees. This can be a touching keepsake for many people and it’s worthwhile to spend some time getting this right.
Printing the order of service is another time consideration you will need to think about. If you choose to have this done professionally, make sure that the printers can also deliver it to the location of the funeral in time. Printers might be able to print it in time, but they might then struggle to get it delivered in the required timescale. An alternative would be to task someone with access to a high-quality printer to create these for you.
THE WAKE OR GATHERING
After the funeral, many people like to gather together so they can say goodbye, enjoy some light food and pay their respects to the family. This might be called a vigil, a service, a wake or a gathering, among other names.
This is often the most difficult part to plan as it requires a venue and refreshments. Many hotels and function suites will have packages you can choose from to take the stress out of planning. They will often serve a cold buffet and tea or coffee to your guests. You don’t need to decorate the venue, but it is often a nice touch to include a photo of the deceased and some flowers from the service.